Little One October 16, 2018
Long ago, there was a tiny little girl who struggled every night to survive. She was like thousands of other children who had gotten caught in the scraggle of physical and sexual abuse; however, that did not lessen the overwhelming suffering she endured. She tried to say, “No, please, no!” but that only brought on such a severe beating that she knew to never say that again. Every night she lay in her bed, knowing the sexual assault would come, waiting until it happened. She could not even attempt to sleep, knowing what was coming, but unable to stop it. In her horror and trauma, she disassociated what was happening to her body from her true self; the innocent precious little girl emotionally went into the safety of a dark cloud, which protected her and held her emotionally intact.
After the nightly assaults, Little One tried to sleep. She learned to not go to the bathroom because that would bring on another assault, just the fact of her being awake. So, that brought on another issue, of trying to hold her bodily functions and being unable to do so, sometime during the night, she wet the bed. Further shame heaped upon her when her face was forced onto the urine soaked sheets in the morning, similar to the treatment the household cat received. Finally, sometime around eleven years old, Little One stopped wetting the bed, she thought because she went to the bathroom just before going to bed, but in reality, she had expanded her bladder so far and taught it to not empty.
Little One struggled throughout her youth, not really understanding what it meant to be a friend because her life focus was to survive. She had many who were kind to her and offered friendship, but she was quite oblivious to the truth of love that she in reality, longed for. She grew up to be a young lady, a wife, mother, and even a grandmother. Her husband taught her what love really is, self-giving, wonderfully patient, so kind, and profound in love.
As her body aged, the precious Little One was still inside, holding onto the childlike faith and carefree fun life she had missed in her youth. Her doctor inadvertently triggered her emotional pain when he explained the physical problem she now faced as an aging woman. He said, “You are holding urine. Most people do not feel 100 cc of urine, but anything more than that normally triggers the need to go. You have just finished “emptying” your bladder, but there are still 240 cc of urine in there. This is a problem that took years to develop and may take years to get better.” That day, Little One once again experienced the whirlwind of her traumatic youth. She didn’t feel pain, but the reality of her experience hit her hard. The doctor said to try to empty her bladder on a timed basis. At first, it seemed confusing and cold. But it was transformed to be something beautiful and precious.
Little One began to allow herself to perceive the process as walking hand in hand with this tiny child within her, teaching her to release all the urine every time she used the bathroom. She
actively gave herself loving feedback, and the value that lay dormant in her broken and bruised soul.
Where could it be that Little One could learn, observe, and be immersed in such profound love that every individual is valued and appreciated? Where could this precious Little One, who was now in an aging body, find such love? Even though she had twelve years of counseling as a young woman, she had never experienced the kind of love that would help her truly value this one very precious aspect of who she was. Only at Good Samaritan Ministries could Little One be valued, no matter what her age, size, abilities or lack thereof, or even her clothing. She was accepted, fully and passionately, just as she was, for the person she was inside and out. She had watched with great interest as people (whom she would have treated with disregard) were valued, listened to, and treated with utmost respect. Good Samaritan Ministries has been a place of learning to value herself and others in a way that is profound and remarkable.
Good Samaritan Ministries has blessed thousands of people over the years, in many countries throughout the world. Little One is both receiving love and value and now, learning to give of that same love and respect. It is a place of mentoring, of stretching, of living life to the farthest reach that God challenges, to honor this creation of His, humanity.
Freda experienced physical and sexual abuse. She was broken and confused for years. As a young woman, she sought counseling for 12 years. When she began to grow in her Christian faith, she realized the depth of healing in the words of the Bible. She then combined tiny steps of healing with those comforting Scriptures and wrote Flame of Healing: A Daily Journey of Healing from Abuse and Trauma, a devotional with a journal, for in-depth, personal healing. Flame of Healing is helping people in 6 countries to heal from deep emotional pain from abuse and trauma.
Freda is also an inspirational speaker, addressing issues of abuse and trauma with compassion. She is a wife of 39 years, mother of three adult children, grandmother of one, and a child of God.
Her second book, Resurrection Hope, is a Christian novel about Heaven, angels, and living in the Presence of God. Freda’s website is: www.fredaemmons.com.